My name is Tony Vieitez. As a psychotherapist, my goal is to help people resolve difficult, challenging and complex problems. The main purpose of this page is to give you a feel of what it would be like to work with me in therapy, and by the end of it you should know whether you want to continue navigating around other parts of the site. I really hope you do!
It's possible that you have tried a number of different ways to stop the way you're feeling. Given you're now reading this, it probably means that these strategies have brought some relief, but somehow the behaviour or unwanted feelings still seem to break through. It's as if the relief is only temporary and the strategies will only go so far. I believe that much deeper, permanent change is possible and this will be the goal that I will be working towards with you.
I won't base our work together on helping you to develop strategies to stop how you're feeling. Instead, we will work together as two people involved in a shared struggle with a common goal - your goals. This might sound a bit corny, but it is important. Without such a relationship, it may be difficult for you to go into the parts of yourself that you need to explore to make change happen. This is part of my expertise, and it requires that all of me is present in our work together. By this, I mean all my vulnerabilities as well as my confidence and my experience - I bring this in a way that means that I won't be hiding behind a professional facade. You'll get to see that I'm cracked in many ways, and that it's ok. Because I am - I have been through my own versions of the struggles that we face as individuals. And out the other side, pretty much!
So, I am saying that I am comfortable with my own crackedness. Another way of putting this is that I am accepting of my differences and value my uniqueness. Often our family and work relationships don't make room for the many parts of ourselves that contribute to who we are. This can have a contorting effect as we try to fit in to a world that doesn't make room for us as we are, and leaves us feeling disjointed from ourselves and alienated from the people around us. And if I was to work with strategies to help you get rid of difficult feelings and emotions, I would be doing the same thing - trying to twist you into a shape whereby you don't feel pain. Although this is possible, the effect is often that we stop feeling anything at all, leaving us feeling hollowed out. I won't do that.
There is a way that honours our difficult feelings whilst relieving the burden associated with them. A gentle approach that allows us to relate to our feelings instead of just reacting to them in the old familiar ways. This requires learning to relate to our feelings in a way that doesn't involve overly identifying with them. Because when we change our relationship to our difficult feelings, we are actually changing the relationship we have with ourselves. This is a powerful form of change, and is the path that I will take with you.